B is For Bunnies

[eastofthemoon]

It's been awhile, but I did finish another one of the requests from the Letter Drabble meme. This was B is for Bunnies for couragose

I had fun with this one. There are a couple of references. I'm curious to see who catches them. ^_~

Title: B is for Bunnies
Series: Slayers
Characters: Zelgadis and Amelia



"Ya Lina Inverse?"

The group looked up from the table. Lina blinked. She had been approached by many odd and different kinds of people in her life. Golem makers, fashion designers, knights, nobles and even other sorcerers. However, this was the first time for a farmer to ask her. He wore the entire traditional outfit of a straw hat, overalls and was even chewing on a piece of straw between his teeth.

"Another one to add to the list." Lina thought sourly. "Why can't one of these guys be a handsome prince?" She leaned back in her chair. "That's me old man, what do you want?"

The farmer took a seat. "I need you to kill a monster."

Lina's curousity perked up. "Oh? A troll or a dragon?"

The farmer shook his head. "No, far worse."

"What could be worse than those?" asked Gourry.

"He won't stop," the farmer muttered. "He keeps eating them...No, he's like an eating machine!"

Lina sweated. A monster that eats people? This can't be good.

The farmer slammed his fist onto the table. "But I have to stop him!" He stared at the group, with his shoulders shaking. "If this keeps up that stupid rabbit will eat my entire crop!"

There was a long silence at the table. Zelgadis decided that he might as well asked the clearly obvious question, even though it was killing him. "Sir, are you talking about a rabbit?"

The farmer nodded, but soon found himself gasping for air when Lina grabbed him by his shirt collar. "What the hell do you think I am? Pest control?!"

Having gotten her point across, Lina let the farmer go. "Deal with it yourself!"

Even though he was coughing, the farmer glared. "Do you honestly think I would come asking for your help if I hadn't tried?!" He folded his arms. "Listen Missy, I've been a farmer all my life and I've dealt with my fair share of vegetable eating menaces. I've tried everything to get rid of that rabbit!" He counted on his fingers. "Traps, dogs, everything and nothing works!"

"How can getting rid of one rabbit be so hard?" Amelia asked.

The farmer gave a sour frown. "Because he isn't your ordinary rabbit. He use to be the pet to the old sorceress that lived here, but she died a few months ago."

"So you let the rabbit run loose?" Gourry asked. "Why didn't someone else take it in."

The farmer sighed. "We've tried. The sorceress nephew tried to take him in, but the little monster bit him and ran off. No one seen him since." His eyes twitch. "Until a few weeks ago when he appeared in my garden."

"So, just let him have a few vegetables," Zelgadis asked. "It can't be that big of a problem."

The farmer's eyes narrowed. "Look here laddy, those vegetables are my lively hood. If that pest keeps eating them at the rate he's going, I'll have nothing left to sell when the time comes to take them to the market."

"Well, don't look at me," Lina said, cutting into her meat. She was a beautiful sorcerery genius. She may have done a lot of weird jobs in her life, but she did have standards.

The farmer sighed. "Fine, I guess I'll just have to try poison then-"

"Poison!" Amelia stood up. "You can't do that! Even if he's causing trouble, he's just an innocent rabbit!"

"That's ruining my crops!" the farmer snapped. "I need to get rid of him."

"Then I'll do it!" Amelia declared. "In the name of justice, I'll save both the rabbit and your garden!"

"Fill your boots Missy," said the farmer. "I don't care who does it, but I want the little monster gone!"

Amelia nodded. "Alright Mister Zelgadis let's go!"

The chimera choked. "Why on earth am I going?"

"We'll you are better at building traps then I am?" She stared at him with her big hopeful eyes. "You do want to help do you?"

Zelgadis turned to Gourry and Lina for help, but both looked the other way. "Looks like you've been recruited for rabbit duty Zel," Lina said with a grin.

The chimera sighed as he gave Amelia a nod.

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"Isn't this trap too simple?" Amelia asked from her spot behind the bush.

Zelgadis finished balancing the box onto the stick. "Amelia, it's a rabbit, it's not like we're trying to capture a monster."

"But the farmer said he wasn't an ordinary rabbit."

He placed the carrot inside the box and tied a string around the stick. "He was exaggerating because he was embarrassed that he couldn't catch a simple rabbit." Zelgadis laid the string out along the ground and sat next to Amelia. "Trust me, this won't take long."

Amelia didn't feel as confident, but she kept quiet. It had barely been five minutes when Amelia spotted a pair of white ears peak out from beneath a bush. Then there was a rushel and then he hopped out. He looked like a normal rabbit. He was white and had black patches on his fur, including over his right eye. "He's so cute."

Zelgadis shushed her. "We don't want to scare him away."

The rabbit sniffed the box and then at the carrot. He glanced around and then crawled into the box. In one quick motion, Zelgadis pulled the string and the box fell, trapping the small creature. Zelgadis stood. "See, I told you it wouldn't take long." He approached the box and bent down to lift it. "Now we'll just take him to the farmer and-"

There was a white blur. The rabbit leaped forward and headed butted Zelgadis in the stomach. Stunned, the chimera fell backwards. The rabbit sat on his chest and holding the carrot in his mouth like it was a cigar. It must have been Zelgadis''s imagination because he could have sworn the small animal was smirking at him. Before he could grab him, the rabbit leaped off his chest and dashed back into the bushes.

"Mister Zelgadis are you alright?!" The princess helped Zelgadis to sit up.

He continued to stare at the bush where the rabbit disappeared. "Amelia, please tell me if I'm wrong, but did that rabbit head butted me?"

Amelia sweated. "Um...yes he did."

Zelgadis groaned. "So much for this being easy."

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"This trap will get him," Zelgadis said as he finished laying out the branches.

"Are you sure?" Amelia didn't feel as confident.

Zelgadis brushed the dirt off his hands. "Of course it will. The hole is deep enough so he can't jump out of it and it's covered by branches so he can't see it." He smirked as he laid out a carrot as bait. "Once that pest steps on the branches, they'll break, he'll fall into the pit and we have our rabbit."

Amelia shook his head, but Zelgadis ignored it as he took her hand and led her behind the bush. "If my calculations are correct, he should be appearing any second now."

They waited in silence, and it was barely a minute when Amelia saw a familiar pair of ears. "He was right about the timing" Amelia thought. "Maybe he will catch him this time."

The rabbit approached the branches and tilted his head at the carrot.

"Come on," Zelgadis muttered quietly.

The rabbit then sharply turned around and hopped off. Zelgadis's jaw dropped. "What?!" He raced towards the pit. "I don't get it, that should have worked-"

"Mister Zelgadis watch out!"

Before the chimera could turn, a small object slammed into him from behind. Zelgadis fell forward and broke through the branches, tumbling into the pit. Dazed, he spit out a mouthful of dirt and looked back up. The rabbit stared at him, again he seemed to be smirking.

"That rabbit head butted me again?! FROM BEHIND?!"

Zelgadis was ready to launch a fireball at the little monster, but the rabbit swiftly turned around and dashed away. Amelia's head appeared above the pit. "Are you all right? The rabbit didn't hurt you did he?"

Zelgadis punched the dirt. Twice now he had been beaten by a fuzzy small animal. His pride would not allow this crime to go unpunished. "This means war!"

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"They're suppose to be around here somewhere," Lina muttered.

Gourry frowned. "But what are they doing in the woods? Shouldn't they be at the farmer's garden?"

"That garden is just on the edge of these woods, so logically that rabbit lives somewhere in these parts, at least that's what Zel thinks."

The swordsman nodded. "I wonder if they caught the rabbit yet."

"Who knows," Lina replied, ducking a low branch. "But, how hard can it be to catch a rabbit?"

BOOM!

A loud explosion shook the forest.

The vibration caused Lina to stumble head first into the dirt.

Gourry raised an eyebrow. "You were saying?"

Lina replied with a growl as she spat out the dirt. "What the hell are they doing?"

Quickly, the pair ran down the path and toward the rising smoke that was coming from beneath the trees. They climbed through the bushes and were surprised to find a clearing, although it wasn't a natural clearing. The trees had been blast away and all that were left of their existence were the charcoal stumps. The air reeked of brunt grass and leaves. Lina pinched her nose to block out the smell. "I'm guessing the plan didn't go as Zel planned."

"Miss Lina?"

Lina and Gourry whirled around to find Amelia standing behind them.

"What's going on?" Gourry asked. "Did you catch the rabbit?"

Amelia sweated. "No, the rabbit is a lot smarter than Mister Zelgadis thought." She uncomfortably stroke her cheek. "In fact, I think Mister Zelgadis is getting rather obsessive over it."

Lina folded her arms. "How obsessive?"

BOOM!

A second explosion shook the forest and the group. Suddenly, the rabbit jumped out of the forest. He ran straight pass the group without pausing and dashed into the bushes on the other side of the clearing. Before Lina could utter a word, the chimera appeared from the bushes. He madly scanned the area. "Where is he?!" He's voice sounded rather gravelly. He began to search through the bushes. "I know the little demon came this way!"

Gourry tapped Zelgadis on the shoulder. "Are you okay Zel?"

"Gourry be quiet! I'm hunting rabbits!"

The swordsman paused and turned to the girls. "Is it just me, or did that sound wrong for some reason?"

Zelgadis sighed. "I'll have to clear away more space." He started to cast. "Fireba-""

Lina grabbed him from behind. "Zel! Have you lost it! You'll burn the whole forest down! You need some self control."

"I don't think it's right for you to say that Miss Lina."

"Not now Amelia!"

The chimera wiggled free from her grasp. "Fine! I won't burn it down."

Lina sighed with relief. "Good I-"

He muttered a incantation. "I'll just freeze it instead. Freeze Arrow!"

Before anyone could react, Zelgadis threw an ice arrow at the bushes, freezing it instantly.

Lina blinked dumbfounded and whispered to Amelia. "What did that rabbit do to Zel?"

"Um...it's a long story."

"What the hell is going on here?!" The farmer yelled as he came out of the forest. "I can hear explosions all the way into the barn."

Suddenly, Zelgadis's ears twitched. "Got you!" He threw a freeze arrow in the farmer's direction. With a loud scream, the farmer leapt out of the arrow's path. The arrow flew towards the bush and froze it. Amelia and the farmer were ready to give Zelgadis a lecture of watching he's aiming, when suddenly, there was a howl. The rabbit left out of the bushes. He appearing to be shivering as he shook icicles off his ears.

Zelgadis smirked. He prepared a fire ball. "Tonight, I'm going to be having roasted rabbit!"

The rabbit stared in horror at Zelgadis. Amelia dashed in front of the small shaking creature. "Mister Zelgadis calm down! There's no need to kill it."

"That thing is a menace!"

"That's right!" the farmer agreed. "I may not agree with the boy's tactics, but that little furball is too much trouble."

"I'm sure he's just misunderstood!" Amelia argued. "There's no need to-"

The princess was cut off as the rabbit took an action no one had expected. The rabbit jumped into Amelia's arms and began to nuzzle her.

The whole group stared in shook. Amelia petted the rabbit, unsure of what else to do. Zelgadis blinked. "What is he doing?"

"Getting petted," Gourry replied.

"I know that!" Zelgadis snapped. "But why is he acting so cute and cuddly now!"

"I have no clue!" the farmer replied, equally as confused. "I've never seen him act like this." The farmer stroked his chin. "Well, except when he was around his owner."

Gourry frowned. "Old man, was the rabbit's original owner male or female?"

"Female," the farmer replied, feeling the need for a tall drink.

He snapped her fingers. "Ah! Now I get it! It has a soft spot for girls."

Zelgadis rolled his eyes. "That doesn't make any sense."

"Sure it does, when you and Amelia were trying to catch it, who made and tried to lure the rabbit into the traps?"

"Well...me."

"And I'll bet it was only the farmer that tried to catch it before. No girls right?"

The farmer nodded. Lina scrathed her head. "I still don't see how you came up with that theory?"

Gourry smiled. "My aunt once had a dog, but it would growl at every man that came near her, but he was fine to be around girls. I think this is the same case."

"Are you saying," Amelia replied, uneasily looking at the rabbit. "That if I had tried to catch the rabbit myself Mister Zelgadis wouldn't have had to go through this?"

Gourry nodded. "Probably."

Zelgadis glared at the princess. "Amelia?"

"Yes?"

"You're buying my dinner for the next couple of days. Think that's fair?"

Amelia wasn't about to argue, especially since she was the one to force him into this mess. "Yes, that's fair."

"So, what do we do with the rabbit?" Lina asked. "We could make rabbit stew."

"You'll do no such thing!" Amelia cried, hugging the rabbit. "I'll set him to Seyrune, he can live at the Royal petting zoo that Daddy is trying to build."

Amelia looked to the farmer. "Is that all right with you?"

"If it keeps him out of my crop, you could send him to the moon for all I care."

Amelia smiled. "Does this rabbit have a name?"

The farmer pondered. "He does...what was it. Oh yeah, the old lady always called him Bugs."

Lina raised an eyebrow. "Bugs Bunny? That's a stupid name for a rabbit."

Zelgadis said nothing. He was just glad this whole ordeal was over. Although, when he glance over at the rabbit, he could have sworn he saw it smirk again. However, he concluded it was just his imagination.