Jim wasn’t walking quickly down the hall, but he wasn’t dragging his feet either. His steps were steady, almost determined. Everyone should have gathered in the art room by now.

His phone vibrated. Jim gently shifted the small black box he was carrying to his other arm as he reached into his pocket to pull it out.

He took a quick glance. Just a text from his mom asking him to buy milk on the way home. Easy enough, but not relevant in this moment, so he swiped the message aside. He also swiped at the other message he forgot to dismiss earlier.

Emergency meeting! Tiffany from class 3-A is an alien princess!

Jim tucked the phone back into his pocket as he approached the door and entered.

The room was filled with people. Looks like everyone in the inner ring had responded to the message. Most were chatting among themselves. The newer members of the group were standing off in the far corner of the room, quiet in their uncertainty.

He glanced around and spotted Jessie, his second in command. As expected she was sitting on top of the teacher’s desk and nonchalantly swinging her legs. Upon seeing Jim, she stepped off and clapped her hands.

“Alright, he’s here!” she called. “Hush up!”

Everyone went silent as Jim sat at the desk. He nudged his glasses causing them to flash a blinding glint of light and opened the box.

“To confirm for everyone,” he said as he cleared his throat. “An alien princess? You're certain”

“Saw it myself,” Charlie shouted as he opened his can of pop and took a sip. “Spaceship hovering behind the equipment shed, had a bracelet to disguise her appearance, royal-looking tiara. Was confessing her love to Mike, something about him catching her in a game of tag as kids being some kind of marriage proposal in her culture?”

“Did they see you?” Jessie asked.

“Naw,” Charlie said. “Mind you, I got the vibe Tiffany didn’t care if anyone saw and Mike was in too much shock to notice.”

“Very well. Then let this be the occasion that we settle matters,” Jim pronounced as he reached into the box and brought up the awaited small blue book thick with pages and numbers. He let it land on the desk with a loud thud. Carefully, Jim flipped through the pages until he found the section.

“Let’s see, according to this Betty and Zane were both betting she was an alien,” he said as he reached in and withdrew a small pile of bills, “so they win the ‘what's the deal with that mystery girl who keeps breaking doors’ pot!”

“We really needed a better name for that,” Jessie remarked.

A series of groans were heard as Betty and Zane exchanged high fives.

“YES!” Zane cried. “Told you all she was an alien.”

George banged his head against the desk. “I KNEW I should have gone with alien,” he shot a glare at his boyfriend “but you just HAD to convince me you had evidence she was actually an angel.”

“US TOO!” cried several other people in the group.

“I saw her with wings!” Luke shot back. “Who wouldn’t assume that?!”

Geroge grumbled. “You’re buying me extra popcorn on our next movie date.”

“Well, I was right too,” Lisa called as she puffed out her chest.

Jim raised an eyebrow and checked the book. “No, you wagered 10 bucks she was a robot.”

“Same thing!”

“No, it’s not,” Betty called.

“It is if you’ve seen transformers!”

“That’s not related to this at all!”

“This school is so weird,” Polly said from her spot with the other newer members of the ring.

Allen shrugged. “You get used to it.”

“Okay, okay,” Jessie called to regain control. “While we’re all here, let’s discuss updates to our other ongoing wagers.”

Jim adjusted his glasses as he flipped back a few pages. “Have we learned anything more about the pizza chef who keeps smashing through walls?”

“It’s starting to sound like he’s some kind of martial artist, but no confirmation yet,” Charlie said.

Allen raised his hand. “I did see him hovering around Rachel from 1-A a lot.” He wrinkled his brow. “Kept muttering about being her true fiance?”

Luke’s jaw dropped. “WHAT?! That'd bring her up to five fiances! Shouldn’t that be illegal?”

Jim flipped a page. “Illegal or not, if that can be confirmed, that means Charlie will win the ‘will Rachel Wilson end up with any more fiances this year’ pot.”

“WAHOO!” Charlie cried.

“That reminds me,” Jessie said as she tapped Jim’s shoulder. “We need to refund everyone's wagers on the ‘new class pet from Mrs. Freezy’s last field trip’ pot.”

Jim frowned. “Why?”

“I talked to the biology club, they said we don’t want to know.”

“Noted,” Jim said as he went to the page, crossed out one line and carefully counting out coins and bills.

“Where are we on that vampire in Class 2-D?” George asked.

“Confirmed who it was, his name is Walter,” Zane replied. “He and Daisy went on a ‘friendly date’ last weekend,” he said as he used his fingers as air quotes, “but still not officially a couple and no kiss.”

“How?” Luke yelled. “They’ve been walking circles around each other for five months?!”

“Oh, we’ve seen worse,” Jessie said. “You weren’t here when that witch got together with Morgan. Took those girls over a YEAR before they actually kissed.”

“And Morgan had died twice first,” Betty remarked with a sigh. “We still haven’t been able to clean off the scorch marks from the gym walls.”

Charlie scratched his chin. “Twice? Didn’t she die more times than that when-?”

“Nope, stopping you right there,” Jessie said. “Rule three! Time loops don’t count!”

“Anyway,” Jim said as he brought out his pen and clicked it. “Would anyone who hasn't already lost like to change their bets on when Daisy and Walter?”

“I’m keeping mine to a year,” Betty cried.

Luke grunted and sighed. “I had six months, but I'll bump mine up to a year too. 'Friendly date', seriously...”

“I’m keeping mine to seven months and...two weeks,” said Polly, from the new-members corner.

“I’m keeping mine to six months,” Jessie said as she pointed to the paper. “I know Daisy, she doesn’t have a lot of patience.”

“Okay,” Jim said as he wrote it down. “Also, a reminder for the new members. If you're a time traveller, you’re free to comment but you’re not actually allowed to bet for obvious reasons.”

Polly’s eyes widened. “Oh, dang it!”

Title: Calling In The Cleaners
Series: Monthly Girls Nozaki-kun/The Way of the Househusband
Rating: G
Characters: Hori, Nozaki, Chiyo, Miku and Tatsu
Summary: Nozaki is in desperate need to talk to an actual househusband for his manga. Hori says he knows a guy.

Nozaki was having trouble again. Chiyo just knew it. He was staring blankly at the page before him, leaning on one hand while tapping his pencil against the desk. All classic signs that Nozaki was in deep thought about something. Chiyo had at least two sketches of this exact pose in her notebook of Nozaki expressions.

“Nozaki, are you okay?” she asked as Hori glanced up from his seat across from her.

Nozaki sighed as he put his pencil down and turned to them. “Yeah, I’m just having trouble with the story for next month.”

“Are you having writer’s block?” Hori asked.

Nozaki shook his head. “Not quite, it’s closer to the opposite problem. I have an idea, but I don’t know how to execute it.”

Chiyo tilted her head, frowning slightly while narrowing her eyes. “What idea could give you this kind of trouble...wait, you weren’t trying to sell Ken on Suzuki being part demon again were you?”

Chiyo still thought Nozaki was trying to find an excuse to give Suzuki a third eye to cover for drawing mistakes.

“No, next month’s issue is doing a special theme,” Nozaki explained as he leaned back in his chair and extended his hands. “Glimpses of the future.”

Hori raised an eyebrow. “That’s wonderfully vague. What do they mean, exactly?”

“We’re allowed to interpret it however we want,” Nozaki said. “So, I thought I would show a future of Mamiko and Suzuki being married.”

“Aww, that would be so cute!” Chiyo squealed, but then paused. “But that should be easy? You already did those wedding drawings for the last print volume’s bonus art, so what’s the issue now?”

Nozaki sighed. “Well, I wanted to do it with a bit of a twist. Have Mamiko go to work while Suzuki took care of the house.”

Hori’s body became still. “You mean...like a house husband?”

“Exactly,” Nozaki replied as he pointed the pencil at him, “but I don’t know any house husbands to use as references.”

“What do you mean?” Chiyo asked. “Why not just ask your mom?”

“It’s not the same thing,” Nozaki said as he shut his eyes. “She’s a housewife. A woman and a man aren’t going to have the same experience with the same role.”

“I guess that’s true,” Hori muttered. “A male actor playing a prince and Kashima playing a prince are very different...”

Chiyo frowned. “But in that case, why not just write from your own experience?”

Nozaki raised an eyebrow. “What experience? I’m not a house husband. I’m just your average high school student.”

“Agree to disagree on average,” Chiyo said as she raised her brush and pointed it at him, “but you have the same skills as a househusband.”

Nozaki scoffed. “Hardly, I’m a teen boy living on his own. I lack the expert qualifications required to call myself a house husband.”

Chiyo narrowed her eyes. “You clean your apartment on a daily basis.”

Barring when Nozaki was physically unable to move, Chiyo couldn’t ever recall seeing his apartment in any state but spotless.

“Well, of course,” Nozaki said as he crossed his arms. “I can’t risk it being a mess if Ken were to stop by.”

“You also cook meals for us,” Chiyo continued dryly.

“Well, naturally!” Nozaki leaned forward. “You guys do so much work on my manga, it’s my responsibility to make sure you’re well fed. But my meager fare is far from what a true househusband could manage.”

“But you also-”

Hori placed a hand on her shoulder. “Give it up, Chiyo. You’re expecting Nozaki to develop a sense of self-awareness.”

Chiyo let out a deep sigh. Hori was right. She could argue for the next hour, and Nozaki would still not get it.

Hori frowned as he looked back over at Nozaki. “So you really need to talk with an actual house husband?”

Nozaki nodded as he stared up at the ceiling. “I just feel it would be more authentic. Without doing the proper research, my work would lack artistic integrity.”

Hori was quiet as he held his chin in thought. “Well…I suppose...”

Chiyo tilted her head. “Do you know how Nozaki could meet a house husband, Hori?”

Hori sighed as he rubbed his neck. “Well, I happen to know one.”

Nozaki instantly snapped his gaze back at Hori. “You know an actual house husband?”

Hori seemed hesitant, but continued after a moment. “Yeah, he’s married to my cousin. He often proudly states he’s a house husband while my cousin is the breadwinner of the two.”

“Wow,” Chiyo breathed.

She knew it wasn’t an unheard-of setup these days, but she had never met anyone whose husband was the one that took care of the house.

Nozaki reached over the desk with his notebook in his hand. “How many scripts do I have to write to talk to him?!”

Hori sighed as he reached up his hand. “Calm down, you don’t have to go that far,” he said with a frown, “but…”

“But what?” Chiyo asked. “Is it that he doesn’t like talking to people?” She could just picture an older version of Mikorin, wearing an apron and still shy meeting new people.

Hori shook his head, folding his arms.. “No, no, it’s not like that He can just be a bit…intense if you’re not used to him. But I was planning on visiting my cousin’s place tomorrow since I need his help for the drama club. You can tag along if you like.”

“If you’re sure you don’t mind,” Nozaki said.

“Um, yeah, same,” Chiyo replied. She couldn’t deny she was a little curious now.

“Alright, we’ll meet at the train station at noon and take things from there,” Hori said as he passed over the page he had been working on. “I would just recommend bracing yourselves.”

“Uh, okay,” Chiyo replied as she started the beta work filling in the background.

Hori might be exaggerating, Chiyo thought. He’s probably not that odd.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, Chiyo was the last to arrive at the train station.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be late,” she said as she caught her breath.

“No, you’re fine,” Nozaki said. “I just got here myself.”

“So did I,” Hori replied. “You’re good.”

Chiyo frowned. Hori was adjusting some kind of bag over his shoulder. It looked like it was one of those bags you would get from the dry cleaners.

“Um, so what are you carrying, Hori?” Chiyo asked as she pointed.

Hori gave a tired sigh as he held it up. “I don’t want to have to go through the story more than once, but it’s some clothing from the drama club that got messed up.”

Nozaki raised an eyebrow. “Okay, but why are you bringing it with us?”

“Because I need advice on how to fix it and Tatsu is the best guy to ask that.”

“Tatsu?” Chiyo muttered, but then slapped her fist into her other hand. “Oh, is that the name of your cousin’s husband?”

“Yeah,” Hori said as he glanced at the clock. “Speaking of which the train will be here soon. We’d better get our tickets.”

“Yeah, sure,” Chiyo said as the trio hurried to the ticket booth.

The train ride itself was unfortunately efficient. Chiyo wished in her heart that it could last forever since she managed to snag a seat right next to Nozaki.

I can practically smell him, she grinned to herself. I wish this scent would never leave my nose.

“Is your cousin going to be home?” Nozaki asked.

“Not today,” Hori explained, “it is her day off, but she’s meeting a friend of hers so it’ll just be Tatsu.”

“Oh,” Chiyo muttered.

She was mostly coming to support Nozaki, but she had been a little curious what Hori’s cousin and husband were like as a couple.

What would it be like if Nozaki and I were to get married? Would I be working from home while he was a house husband? No wait, he would probably still be working on manga, but maybe he would be working from home anyway? Then maybe he would hire me to work on his manga, so we could both work from home – would he hire me before or after we got married? Maybe-

“We’re at our stop,” Nozaki announced.

Chiyo blushed as she quickly swept the daydream from her mind and followed the boys off the train.

“Okay, his place is only a few minutes’ walk from here,” Hori said as he brought out his phone. “The trains got us here a bit earlier than they usually do.”

“Is that a problem?” Nozaki asked.

“No, it should be fine, he wouldn’t leave if he knew he had company coming,” Hori said as he held his phone to his ear. “Let me just give Tatsu a quick call to double check though.”

“Okay, sure,” Chiyo said as she watched Hori step aside to call.

She turned to Nozaki and whispered “So, what kind of guy do you think this Tatsu is?”

Nozaki stroked his chin. “Well, if I had to guess, I'm thinking he’s either a shy type who turns into a drill sergeant when it comes to housework or a big guy who’s actually a huge softie.”

“It sounds like you’ve been reading too much manga,” Chiyo muttered. “Please tell me you didn’t ask for Wakamatsu’s input on this too.”

Before Nozaki could respond, Hori had finished on the phone. “It’s fine. He’s just finishing up something, but he’ll leave the door unlocked so we can just let ourselves in.”

“Are you sure,” Nozaki asked. “We can always kill time at a cafe or something.”

Hori shook his head. “It should be fine. Knowing the guy, he’s finishing up some new recipe or something he wants to try out on us. Let’s go.”

I wonder if he’s serving cheesecake, Chiyo thought as she and Nozaki quickly followed Hori.

-----------------------------------------------

It didn’t take long to get the apartment. Hori gave a brisk knock before opening the door.

“Tatsu, it’s Hori,” he called as he opened and they entered.

Chiyo glanced around. It was a small regular apartment, and it was very neat and tidy. Even more so than Nozaki’s place after he cleaned up for a Ken visit. Before she could observe further, they heard a grunt.

A man staggered out into the hallway.

It was a man with sunglasses, an apron and messy black hair. His sleeves were rolled up revealing elaborate tattoos also with several bleeding cuts. He held a manic grin as he leaned against the wall and wiped the small trail of blood from his cheek.

“Hey, there,” the man spoke as he waved.

Chiyo froze in panic. Did this guy invade the house while Tatsu had it unlocked?! Should they fight? Should they just run and call the cops?!

Nozaki looked equally stunned as he held Chiyo’s shoulder, but tugged gently to lead her into backing up. He murmured something under his breath that Chiyo couldn’t quite catch with the height difference, but running seemed like a plan-

“Tatsu, are you okay?” Hori suddenly cut in.

Chiyo froze as did Nozaki.

“What?” they both muttered.

The man slumped to the ground and waved. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You’re bleeding,” Hori snapped as he rushed over. “What the hell happened?”

Chiyo blinked. No way, no way! THIS GUY IS TATSU?! THE HOUSEHUSBAND?

Tatsu wiped the blood off his cheek and scoffed. “Naw, this is nothing. My opponent was a tough one. Keeps his blades sharper than anyone in the neighbourhood. Really laid into me.”

“Was this guy getting into knife fights with the mailman? Chiyo thought.

Then she heard a meow.

A cat appeared, glanced at the humans and then proceeded to clean its paws.

Tatsu scoffed and pointed at it. “Ya won this battle, Gin, but make no mistake.” He reached into his apron and brought out a pair of nail clippers. “Next time I’m getting the rest of ‘em!”

Chiyo’s jaw dropped. “You were trimming your cat’s nails?”

Tatsu gave a laugh. “Yeah, the little bastard beat me good this time. Kind of proud, to tell the truth.”

Chiyo was silent because she honestly didn’t know how to respond to this and judging from Nozaki’s face he didn’t either.

----------------------------------------------------------------

It didn’t take long for Tatsu to clean himself up. When he reappeared he looked a bit more of what Chiyo expected. His hair was combed and he had put a bandage over his cheek. However he still wore his sunglasses and he sat across from them like he was ready to punch someone for looking at him funny.

“Sorry about that,“ Tatsu said as he rubbed his neck. “Thought I had enough time to get Gin’s claws done before ya’ll arrived. Shoulda known my subordinate wouldn’t take being disarmed lightly.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it,” Hori replied and then pointed to his right. “Tatsu, this is Nozaki and Chiyo.”

Tatsu gave a quick bow. “Nice to meet ya.” He then rose and shoved his hands into his pocket. “I’ve just gotta get a little somethin’ sorted out, and then we can discuss our business over drinks.”

“Uh, sure,” Chiyo replied as he saw him enter the kitchen.

Once he was gone, she and Nozaki together glanced at Hori, who Chiyo noticed was staring straight ahead and trying not to look at them.

“Hori,” Nozaki asked slowly. “I don’t mean to pry, but what exactly did Tatsu do before he married your cousin?”

Hori kept his gaze forward. “I haven't asked and choose not to know.” He took a deep breath. “He just says he used to work for a family business and did a lot of cleaning.”

Nozaki narrowed his eyes. “That sounds...very suspicious.”

Chiyo couldn’t help but agree and nodded.

“I am well aware,” Hori hissed, “that’s why I never asked for details.” He turned his head toward them. “Look, he’s a good guy. Just trust me on this, okay?”

Chiyo wanted to respond to that, but kept her mouth shut as Tatsu reappeared with a teapot, cups and something covered with a cloth.

“Y’all are in luck today,” Tatsu said as he poured each of them a cup and then patted the cloth covered object. “Got a new weapon in my arsenal today that’s supposed to be a real killer. You three can be its first victims.”

Chiyo gulped and prayed Tatsu didn’t hear her pounding heart as he removed the cloth and revealed the deadly concealed truth.

A large pie with cut out pieces of dough in the shape of hearts and stars decorated on top.

Chiyo blinked, lost for words. Nozaki was the first to find his voice, pointing at the pastry.

“Um..what kind of pie is that?” he asked.

“Apple pie,” Tatsu said as he cut a slice for each of them. “See, I happen to know a guy with some special ‘connections’. Managed to get his hands on a breed of apple that isn’t common in our neck of the woods. Pure stuff, unadulterated.”

Chiyo was quiet as Tatsu put the plate in front of her. She was scared to try it, but she also didn’t want to risk finding out what would happen if she was rude to Tatsu.

She picked up her fork, gulped, and took a tiny bite. All of her fears melted away as the sweet flavours hit her tongue.

“Oh, it’s yummy,” Chiyo sang as she looked at Nozaki. “It’s really tasty, Nozaki.”

Tatsu smirked like a cat that just got the cream. “He- heck yeah, I knew this would get ya. One hit and you’re hooked, right?”

Chiyo knew she should be concerned about what he said, but her happy taste buds were overriding her panic button.

Tatsu then crossed his arms and glanced at Nozaki. “So, word on the street is you’re lookin’ to learn the ropes on what makes a good husband?”

“That’s right,” Nozaki replied as he put down his fork.

Tatsu leaned over the table. “Mind telling me why? Bit young to get hitched aren’t ya?”

Chiyo paused. Oh, no. What should we say? Maybe Nozaki can claim to be a writer? Or it’s for a school project or-

“I draw shojo manga and I’m doing research for a story,” Nozaki cut in briskly.

Chiyo sighed as she ate another bite of her pie. Why do I never remember Nozaki has no filter regarding his manga?

Tatsu looked thoughtful as he crossed his arms. “Manga, huh?” He laughed. “I wouldn’t picture ya as a shojo manga artist, but I’m not one to talk.”

That’s putting it mildly. Chiyo thought.

Hori cleared his throat. “To start things off, what’s a first thing a house husband should know?”

Tatsu raised an eyebrow. “Can’t teach someone to win a fight ‘til I see how they punch. How about first ya tell me what ya think makes a decent house husband?”

Nozaki grasped his chin in thought. “Well, my first thought would be to keep a clean house and I suppose to make certain the shopping is done-”

Tatsu gave a hard laugh that nearly caused Chiyo to jump.

“Not bad, but you’re thinking too small. Just common bachelor hour stuff.”

Nozaki frowned as he narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean?”

Tatsu banged his hand on the table. “Listen kid, to be a pro ya got to have yer turf memorized and not just the homebase. Ya need a chokehold on what stores carry the best goods and get on good terms with them so they save the best stash for you. Most important, you’re gonna get deep into chemical warfare.”

“Chemical? Warfare?” Chiyo muttered.

“Here we go,” Hori muttered.

Tatsu rose from the table and reached into a cupboard. “To start, professionals always keep these essentials on hand.”

He whipped out two items and Chiyo blinked. “Um..baking soda and vinegar?”

Tatsu slammed them on the table. “Best weapons of any housewife. Help cleans the sink and get rid of any unwanted pests flickering about.” He snapped his fingers. “Also, if ya see spiders trying a hostile takeover then dish soap and vinegar in a spray bottle is the best weapon in your arsenal. You wanna make sure the patsies get the message, you slip in a little something they won’t forget – peppermint extract.”

“I see, I see,” Nozaki said, hastily as he wrote everything down.

I feel like I should be concerned about how eagerly he’s taking in the way things are being phased here, Chiyo thought.

Hori cleared his throat. “Before you get too wrapped up there, do you think we could solve my problem?”

Tatsu blinked as if he briefly forgot anyone else was in the room.

“Right, sorry,” he said and he locked eyes with Hori. “You have the stuff?”

Hori sighed and set the dry cleaning bag on the table.

“Here it is,” Hori replied.

Chiyo blinked. “So, what is that exactly?”

“A giant headache,” Hori said as he unzipped it revealing a beautiful white princess gown with a huge black stain on the upper part.

“What is that?” Nozaki asked as he pointed.

“Soy sauce,” Hori stated firmly.

“Why is there soy sauce on this dress?!” Chiyo cried.

Hori sighed as Tatsu took the dress. “The short version is that we have a strict rule of not playing in the costumes outside of rehearsals. The new members who joined to get more time with Kashima broke that rule, and ran towards Kashima who was just taking out her lunch.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “And the rest is history.”

“I’m assuming you ripped into the new members,” Nozaki asked.

“They’re cleaning the stage top to bottom for the next week,” Hori replied as he crossed his arms. “Kashima feels horrible, but it wasn’t her fault this time.”

Chiyo frowned. “Wait, what do you mean by ‘this time?’ Has this happened before?”

Hori coughed. “Anyway, I need Tatsu’s help cleaning it.”

“Can’t you take it to a dry cleaner’s?” Nozaki asked.

“Calling in the professionals costs big bucks,” Tatsu said as he adjusted his sunglasses. “Not to mention you can’t risk a paper trail or the big boss at the school will find out.”

Chiyo raised an eyebrow. And how do you know about that? I’m seriously thinking this has happened more than once.

Hori leaned over the table. “Can you clean it?”

Tatsu held the fabric up. “It’ll be a tough job, but yeah, I can make sure your little problem gets...eliminated.”

Why does it sound like he’s going to shoot it? Chiyo thought.

Tatus then lowered the shirt and adjusted his sunglasses down so he could peer over them. “Sounds like your Kashima’s owning up and taking responsibility. I assume you’re the courier for her...compensation this time around?”

Hori nodded as he reached into his pocket. “Yeah, I have it here.”

Compensation? Chiyo thought. This is shadier than Mikorin getting drinks from a bunny. What kind of debt is she getting into-

Hori held out three slips of paper with brightly coloured lettering on them.

“The latest coupons from the cafe she works at,” Hori said. “Haven’t been mailed to the public yet. Free parfait with any appetizer.”

Tatsu took the papers and grinned. “Oh, yeah, this will do nicely.”

You’re that gleeful over a coupon?! \Chiyo thought.

Tatsu gathered up the stained dress. “Ya want to see how a house husband works? Follow me, kids.”

The teens followed Tatsu into his kitchen as he set the dress aside.

“First, we got to arm ourselves properly,” Tatsu explained as he picked up the laundry detergent.

“Are you just putting it in the washing machine?” Chiyo asked.

“Nah. Manufacturer’s directions help for the everyday stuff, but when cleaning up a massacre like this one, we want to get rid of the evidence by hand,” Tatsu said, running ice-cold water through the stain before carefully pouring a little detergent over it.

“Now that we’re all armed, our heavy hitter’s going to have a little word with this guy. Figure three minutes should be enough to soften him up.”

“I’ll set the timer on my phone,” Hori said as he as he brought it out.

Tatsu nodded as he rummaged among some bottles. “Next step is to bring in a specialist. We’ll let our old friend white vinegar take a swing or two, but for this I think we’re going to need the heavy artillery – hydrogen peroxide.” He produced a dark bottle, setting it carefully next to the sink, patting it on the lid. “Wouldn’t risk it on coloured clothes, but you want this dress white, and this guy’s good at taking out things like bloodstains.”

”So we’re soaking it, bleaching it, and then putting it in the washer?” Nozaki asked.

Tatsu shook his head. “Nope. We’re doing a full waterboarding here – the clothes get a rinse in between treatments, and we’ll check to see if there’s anything left of the stain.”

“And if there is?” Nozaki said.

“Then everyone comes back for another few swings. You let the dryer have a chat with stained clothing, it’ll be on the record forever.”

“You mean it’s permanent?” Chiyo asked.

“That’s what I said,” Tatsu replied.

Before Chiyo could debate it further they heard the door opening.

“I’m home,” a female voice called out.

Everyone poked their heads out as a smiling woman carrying a couple of bags walked in.

This must be Hori’s cousin, Chiyo thought.

The lady looked up and waved. “Oh, Hori! Good ,you’re still here.” She spotted Nozaki and Chiyo. “You two must be Hori’s friends. I’m Miku.”

“Um, hello,” Chiyo said with a quick bow. “I’m Chiyo and this is Nozaki.”

Tatsu came over as he took the bags. “I wasn’t expecting you home for another hour.”

“Neither was I, but Sakura had a massive headache and ended up having to bail early,” Miku replied.

“Was she drinking enough water?” Tatsu asked. “The sun’ll shank you if you drop your guard – neglect hydration and you’ll taste curb in no time.”

“I did tell her,” Miku said and seem unfazed by Tatsu’s words.

She is married to him, Chiyo thought. She’s probably used to it.

“Either way, the store was having a sale so I got a few things,” she said as she pointed.

Tatsu glanced into the bag and gained a wicked grin. “Ah, yeah, Miku. You know just the ammunition I like.”

“Um, and what kind of ‘ammunition’ is that?” Nozaki asked.

“Curry,” Miku said, “you guys want to stay for dinner?”

“It’s a bit early,” Hori said, “but we have to kill time until the dress is ready anyway.”

“All right then,” Tatsu as he began to walk towards the kitchen. “This won’t take long for me-”

“Nope,” Miku said with a cheeky grin as she seized the bag, “tonight you take it easy because I’m cooking.”

Suddenly, the man that looked like he could scare off five tigers with a glare seemed very afraid as his eyes filled with panic.

“What?! No, Miku, you don’t have to do that,” he stammered.

“Yeah,” Hori quickly jumped in and Chiyo couldn’t help but notice he too looked terrified. “You just came home. You don’t have to put yourself out for us.”

Miku sighed as she took onions, carrots and potatoes out of the bag. Placed them onto a cutting board and reached for a big knife. “Guys, relax, I got this.”

“But...but,” Tatsu stammered as he searched the area frantically like the cops were onto him and he needed a patsy immediately. Despite thinking this, Chiyo was startled when he suddenly pushed her forward. “Chiyo desperately needs some woman to woman advice!”

“HUH?!” Chiyo cried.

“You could have talked to me about it,” Nozaki whispered. “Girl talk makes good material for my manga.”

Chiyo held up her hands. “But I don’t have-”

A loud thud cut her off.

Chiyo was no expert in cooking. She certainly couldn’t cook dishes as high class as Nozaki. However, she knew well enough to tell Miku wasn’t quite doing it right.

Aren’t you suppose to peel onions before cutting them? Wait, why is she reaching for the mustard?!!

She glanced up to Tatsu. He said nothing, but his eyes were pleading with her like he was at gunpoint and she was the only one with a bead on his would-be killer.

Instantly, Chiyo sprang forward and grabbed Miku’s hand. “Please, I desperately need some woman to woman advice!”

Miku paused in her chopping and frowned. “Oh, uh, well if you need it that badly,” mercifully putting down the knife. “We can talk while the boys cook-”

“Yes, please go do that,” Hori said as he shoved them out of the kitchen with a silent thank you to Chiyo.

Meanwhile, Tatsu waited until the girls left the kitchen and finally felt all the tension leave his body.

I’m giving that girl the rest of the pie, he thought as he wiped the sweat from his forehead.

He turned to the boys as he began to grab the potatoes to clean. “So, how much do you two cook?”

“I know the basics,” Hori said, “although Nozaki is more of the expert between us.”

“I wouldn’t call myself that,” Nozaki said as he began to peel a new onion, discarding the yellow-stained pieces of Miku’s attempt. “But I do a decent job.”

“Good enough,” Tatsu said as he turned on the tap and began to scrub. “So, first thing you got to do is-”

A sharp chopping cut through his ear drums. He turned. Nozaki had not only already finished peeling the onion, but he was mincing it with ease. Feeling Tatsu’s gaze upon him, Nozaki stopped.

“Oh, sorry, I should have asked,” he said and pointed. “Would you rather have these in chunks?”

Damn, the kid’s already making his way to the top, Tatsu thought. The chef’s going to have to watch his back. He grinned and slapped a hand on Nozaki’s shoulder. “Naw, that’s perfect. We’re going to make them sweat!”

---------------------------------------------

“So, then I thought maybe I’m betraying him,” Chiyo said, “but then again it was so good, and I still wanted to eat it.”

Miku blinked as she crossed her arms. “I think Nozaki would understand if you found you liked your friend’s cake better than his.”

“But he worked so hard on it,” Chiyo stammered.

Did she feel silly bringing up how Seo’s cake in cooking class tasted better than Nozaki’s? Yes. Had this actually been eating at her soul the last few days. Also yes.

“Well, maybe next time save a slice for him and have Nozaki try it,” Miku said. “If he’s as good of a cook as I know Tatsu is he’ll be able to tell right away. And even Tatsu will admit when a rival of his has better food.”

Chiyo mulled over that, but gave a slowed nod. That was a true. Nozaki wasn’t the kind of guy to deny someone’s talents.

“Yeah, that would probably work,” Chiyo muttered.

Miku chuckled. “I’ll admit, when Tatsu said you needed advice I was expecting something more related to a crush instead of feeling guilty that someone’s cake was better.”

Chiyo suddenly blushed. “Oh, ha, ha, yeah that’s funny.”

Miku frowned. “Wait, do you have a crush on someone?”

Chiyo’s face brightened. “Oh, um...”

Miku grinned widened. “Oh, you do! Of course, it has to be Noza-”

Chiyo sprang from her feet and covered Miku’s mouth. “Don’t say it so loud!”

The girls paused and suddenly Chiyo clued in to what she was doing and quickly withdrew her hands.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“Naw, no worries,” Miku said as she waved a hand. “That was my bad.”

Chiyo sheepishly pressed her fingers together. “Um, well...um...yeah.”

Miku grinned. “Have you told him?”

Chiyo slumped forward. “That’s a loaded question.”

Miku frowned, but then gave a gentler smile and patted her head.

“Hey, don’t fuss about it, I’m sure the time will come. The trick is to be patient.”

Chiyo glanced up hopefully. “You really think so?”

“I do,” Miku said as she glanced to the kitchen. “Honestly, I never thought I would get married, but then I met Tatsu and everything just clicked you know? Life likes to surprise you like that.”

Chiyo glanced to the kitchen as they could hear Tatsu giving Hori and Nozaki instructions on how to cook onions.

“Tatsu seems like a nice guy,” she said and looked to Miku. “How did you two meet?”

Miku rubbed her neck. “That’s a loaded question.”

Chiyo raised an eyebrow, but decided it was probably better to drop it and change the question. “How did you figure out it was Nozaki?”

“Well, it would explain you agonizing over the cake,” Miku said, “and I at least knew it you weren’t gunning for Hori.”

“How were you so certain of that?” Chiyo asked.

Miku grinned. “I have met Kashima.”

“Ah, good point.”

------------------------------------------

The rest of the conversation flowed smoothly once Chiyo and Miku started to compare notes on their favourite snacks. Before long, the boys brought out the curry and everyone happily dug into the dinner. Nozaki did keep his notebook next to him as Tatsu continued to inform him with more tips on how to be a house husband.

After dinner, they checked on the dress and by some miracle Tatsu’s tools had done the job cleanly. Hori was very grateful and the teens left with Tatsu and Miku telling them to drop by anytime.

On the train ride home, Nozaki was quickly sketching ideas into his sketchbook while Chiyo happily hugged the giant chunk of pie Tatsu had given her. She gave it a small sniff as she glanced at Hori.

“I think I get what you meant about Tatsu the other day,” Chiyo said. “He is ‘intense’, but he is really a good guy.”

Hori grinned as he carefully cradled the dress in his hand. “Yeah, he is.” He glanced over. “Do you think you have enough ideas to write, Nozaki?”

“That and more,” Nozaki said as he held out his sketches for them to see. “I already have a rough draft.”

The sketches were of an older Mamiko coming home.

“Suzuki, I’m home!”

Suzuki appeared in the next panel wearing an apron and sporting a pair of tinted sunglasses over his eyes. “Hey, boss! Had a few... ‘Uninvited guests’ drop by while you were out. Don't worry about it, though. I had a word and they've gone on something of a...permanent vacation.”

“Oh, Suzuki,” Mamiko said in the next panel. “You’re so efficient!”

Chiyo and Hori silently exchanged looks and then in perfect unison said “Ken is absolutely going to reject this.”

Ken absolutely did reject it.

Since I ended up writing a short bunch of Monthly Girls Nozaki-Kun fics for fall and winter, I figure doing a set for spring with prompts that I’ve picked would be fun.

Spring In Your Step

Chapter 1: Bunny

Rating: G

Characters: Chiyo, Nozaki, Seo

--------

Chiyo grinned proudly as she put the box on Nozaki’s desk. “Ta da!”

Nozaki glanced up from writing his outline of his next chapter and glanced inside it. “Bunny cookies?”

“Yeah,” Chiyo said as she held one of the smiling bunnies. “I made them in cooking class today. Aren’t they cute?”

The whole thing had been a challenge, especially getting the white icing just right, but adorable end result was worth it.

“The blue bows are a nice touch,” Nozaki said.

“One of the other groups had extra candies we were able to use for it,” Chiyo said as she beamed and blushed. “I haven’t eaten one yet because I thought..it would be nice if you got the first taste.”

“Oh,” Nozaki said with a soft smile. “Thanks, Chiyo.”

Chiyo squealed internally.

“But I can’t eat these,” he said sternly.

Chiyo’s heart dropped. “What? Why?!”

“They’re too cute,” Nozaki said as he pointed to his cookie. “I mean, it would feel like a crime if I broke one of them.”

“But they’re just cookies,” Chiyo said as she held it up. “Look it just has a little smile, and the tiny black eyes with their cute little paws....”

She trailed off as she tried to imagine breaking this sweet work of art and ruining this dainty little face forever.

“Oh...” she said quietly. “I don’t think I can either.”

“Right,” Nozaki said as Seo walked up to them. “It’s probably better to take a photo of them and-”

“Hey, you guys got cookies,” Seo said with a smirk as she snagged out of the box. “Thanks for the snack!”

“Wait, Seo-”

But before Chiyo could stop her, she chomped off the bunny’s little head.

“Mmmm,” Seo muttered as she chewed and let the crumbs fall to the floor. “These are good...What’s with you two?”

Nozaki and Chiyo just stared at her darkly.

“Murderer,” they muttered.

Seo blinked, shrugged and went for another cookie. She might as well be a serial killer.

Title: Jingle Bells: Seventh Jingle
Theme: Presents
Fandom/Character(s): Monthly Girls Nozaki-kun/ Nozaki x Chiyo
Warnings (if applicable): none
Word Count: 397

“Merry Christmas, Nozaki!” Chiyo cried as she held out the brightly wrapped gift.

Nozaki blinked, but then smiled as he set down his pen and took it. “Thanks, Chiyo.” He closely examined the ribbon she had tied on it. “This is also a nice ribbon, mind if I take a reference photo first before opening?”

“Yeah, sure,” Chiyo replied not surprised by the question at all. She had a feeling he would.

Once Nozaki took the photo, he carefully untied the ribbon and unwrapped the gift. He grinned like a little kid.

“New pens!”

Chiyo nodded as the inner her squealed at the smile. “I noticed yours were getting dried out. So, I thought you could use some new ones.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that,” Nozaki said as he set the pens aside and then reached into his desk. “I actually have a gift for you too.”

“Oh, thanks,” Chiyo said as she took the gift and began to unwrapped.

I’m not getting my hopes up, she thought. It’s probably something practical like soap, a jar of ink -

She opened the box and the brain halted. Her fingers quivered in excitement as she pulled out the item. It was a red scarf, that had little white bunnies embroidered along the edges. She fingered the soft fabric to make sure she wasn’t dreaming this.

“Y-you got me a scarf!” Chiyo cried while blushing bright.

“You like it?” Nozaki asked. “I hope it’s okay it has bunnies on it.”

“I LOVE IT,” Chiyo said as immediately put it around her scarf and hugged. “It’s so cute! I’m never going to take it off!”

 Nozaki got me something cute! HE GOT ME SOMETHING CUTE! BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!

Nozaki grinned. “I’m glad.” He pumped a fist in the air. “If you like yours that means Ken will like his.”

Chiyo paused in her squealing and tilted her head. “Pardon?”

Nozaki held up another present. “There was a two for one sale, so I got a bunny scarf for you and a duck scarf for Ken. I hope he likes it.”

Chiyo debated briefly if she should be bummed Nozaki got someone else the same gift, but shook her head.

He’s putting me on the same level as Ken, She thought. I’ll take it as a win.

Chiyo hugged her scarf and grinned. “Merry Christmas, Nozaki.”

Nozaki smiled back. “Merry Christmas, Chiyo.”

Title: Jingle Bells: Fifth Jingle

Theme: Reindeer

Fandom/Character(s): Monthly Girls Nozaki-kun/ Ryousuke x Miyako

Warnings (if applicable): None

Word Count: 364


There were plenty of days Ryousuke was grateful he got the misunderstanding of Miyako’s job cleared up, yet if he still didn’t know he wouldn’t be dragged out to be a model.


He sighed as he steadied himself on the skates. “You really need reference photos that badly?”


“Yes,” Miyako said as she seemed to be trying to keep her balance on her own skates while hanging on to the camera. He got the feeling it had been a very long time since she skated, and that’s assuming she knew how.


“My next story is going to be an ice skating competition,” Miyako explained. “Although, figuring how how tanuki skate might be a bit tricky.”


Have you considered maybe not just putting them in? Ryousuke thought as he shook his head.


Miyako almost tripped, but caught herself as a couple of little kids dashed by her. “This is trickier than it looks,” she said.


“It just takes practice,” Ryousuke said as he offered a hand. “You sure you don’t want to skate around a bit to get your bearings first?”


“No, no, I’ll be fine,” Miyako insisted as she waved a hand. “Could you please get into some kind of dancing pose?”


“Um alright,” Ryousuke said as he stood straight with his arms around. “Like this?”


“Yes, that’s perfect,” Miyako said as she snapped a photo. “Now if you could just-ACK!”


She began to topple forward. At lightening speed, Ryousuke lunged forward and caught her in his arms seconds before Miyako crashed on the ice.


“You alright?” Ryousuke asked as he steadied her.


Miyako caught her breath. “Yes, thank you!”


He blushed slightly. “N-no problem.”


Miyako gripped his arms tightly and brought her face close to his. “Also, Ryousuke..”


Ryousuke’s heart started to rapidly beat like a drum. “Y-yes?”


She frantically held up her camera. “COULD YOU PLEASE CATCH A PHOTO OF THIS?! It’s a perfect pose and you’re at a better angle.”


Ryousuke blinked, shook his head and took the camera. “Sure, but after this we’re doing some practicing.”


“You’re right,” Miyako said with a nod. “I might even get some better crashes to take photos of.”


Ryousuke sighed and took the photo.

Title: Jingle Bells: Second jingle

 Theme: Santa Hat

Fandom/Character(s): Monthly Girls Nozaki-kun/ Hori x Kashima

Warnings (if applicable): None

Word Count: 562


The members of the drama club looked over the list of names now crossed out on the board except for the bottom one.

One of the boys looked over to Hori. “Prez, it’s going to have to be you.”

Hori shook his head. “Nope, not going to work.”

“But you’re the only one of the boys that can do the laugh really well!” one of the other boys argued.

Hori sighed as he leaned on his hand. “And, as I already stated earlier, I’m too short to be Santa.”

“Are people going to care about Santa’s height that much?” Kashima asked from her spot in the corner.

“They might if the elves are taller than him,” one of the other girls replied.

“Kids aren’t going to care, everyone’s taller than them,” one of the junior boys argued.

Hori pinched the bridge of this nose. They really should have thought this through before offering to host a Christmas party for the kids at the community center.

One of the junior girls glanced around and then snapped her fingers. “What if Kashima was Santa?”

Everyone went quiet as they thought.

“Could work,” Hori replied.

Kashima didn’t seem convinced. “I don’t know. Not sure if I’m the Santa type.”

“Well, let’s get you into costume and try,” one of the girls said as she held out the red suit.

A few minutes later, Kashima was wearing the red suit, cap and even the beard. Admittedly, it looked a big baggy on her, but nothing a couple of pillows couldn’t adjust.

“Ho, ho, ho,” Kashima said in a deep voice. “Is that okay?”

“It’s perfect!” One of the freshmen boys grinned. “You look great, Kashima! This will work.”

Hori frowned. “I’m not sure.”

“Why not? She does look good,” one of the girls said.

Hori crossed his arms and glanced to one of the senior girls. “Can you get a couple of Kashima’s fans in here? We need to test something.”

Before long, the girls returned and within seconds Kashima’s fans were gushing at the sight.

“Oh! Kashima! You make the perfect Santa!” one of the cried.

“You look so dashing with a beard!” the other cooed.

Kashima chuckled as she tilted the heads of one of the girls.

“Have you been good this year, little princess? I want to leave you a good present!”

“Yes! Yes! We have have!” both girls cried.

The other club members instantly cringed.

“I take it back,” the freshman boy from earlier said.

“Yeah, flirting Santa is just weird,” said another.

Hori massaged his forehead. “Yeah, saw that coming.” He crossed his arms. “Fine, we got no choice, but I’ll be Santa.”

“Oh, yes,” Kashima said as she removed the beard while her fans hugged her arms and then winked. “Unless you rather be Mrs. Claus?”

“Don’t make you put you on the naughty list,” Hori snapped.

“But we still got the tall elf problem,” one of the senior girls said.

Hori was quiet and then suddenly inspiration strike.

“Kashima, you can be my reindeer instead,” he declared.

“A reindeer?” one of the guys muttered. “Prez, don’t you think that’s a bit demeaning-”

“CAN I HAVE A GLOWING NOSE?!” Kashima cried her voice full of excitement.

“If we can find one,” Hori replied firmly.

“I’ll take it!”

You agreed to that way too quickly, all the other clubs members thought.

I wrote a Muppet fic for the first time last year and here I am again. Think I'm going to have to start making this a tradition. LOL

Title: Light The Lights
Rating: G
Series: The Muppets
Summary:Kermit sighed and placed his hands on his hips. "What do you guys think you're doing?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Fozzie said as he helped Scooter with a bunch of torches to the door. "We're going to burn the goat!"

--------------------------------------------

Truthfully, Kermit should have known something was up when everyone voted to go spend Christmas in Sweden in less than five minutes. They usually have to spend an hour just to agree on pizza topping.

After getting settled in the villa they were renting he caught his friends all dressed to go outside while carrying far too many fire starting supplies in their arms.

Kermit sighed and placed his hands on his hips. "What do you guys think you're doing?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Fozzie said as he helped Scooter with a bunch of torches to the door. "We're going to burn the goat!"

Kermit could hear Sam's veins popping next to him. "What goat and why are you going to set it on fire?"
"The Gävle Goat," Gonzo explained as he set down a box of TNT. "It's this tradition where they have a giant goat made out of straw and people kept burning it down."

Kermit shook their head. "Gonzo, I don't think they need your help-"

"It wasn't on purpose, people sneak in and did it," Gonzo continued as Animal walked by with a jug of gasoline. "However for a few years, the security managed to prevent it happening and well," the group exchanged exhausted expressions, "the last few years haven't exactly been great."

“That’s putting it mildly,” Rowlf said.

Kermit blinked. “Why are you bringing your keyboard?”

Rowlf shrugged. “Well, someone should play “Burn, Baby, Burn” for mood music, right?”

The group cheered at the suggestion.

“Need I remind you that this is very much illegal?” Sam snapped. “You weirdos will tarnish the noble dignity that is the American tourist.”

“Don’t worry, that’s why we got disguises,” Dr. Teeth said as he held up the clothes.

Kermit tilted his head. “You’re going as lobsters?”

“They’ll like never see it coming,” Janice said.

“LOBSTERS! LOBSTERS!” Animal cried.

Piggy huffed. “Most of us are, but I’m going as a beautiful Valkyrie.”

“I’m going as a chicken,” Gonzo chime in.

“Come on, guys,” Kermit said. “I know things have been rough, but that doesn’t mean burning a giant goat is going to change anything-"

"But that's just it, Kermie," Piggy said sweetly as she clutch the box of matches to her chest like they were jewels. "It did get burned down last year and things did get better."

"Exactly," Fozzie said, "so therefore we have to make sure it happens again!"

"Are you telling me that you people are going to attempt arson just because of some superstition?!" Sam bellowed.

"Normally, I would agree with you," Bunsen said as Beaker nodded with him. "Scientifically, it makes no sense, but we at Muppet Labs also agree to not take any chances. Do you have the marshmallows, Beaker?"

"Meep," Beaker said as he held up a bag.

“I got the chocolate and graham crackers,” Rizzo cried.

Kermit shook his head. "Guys, come on, this could get us into a lot of trouble."

Piggy patted his shoulder. "Kermie, think of how the last few years have been.” Her eyes narrowed. “You really want to take that chance?"

Kermit was quiet, reflected upon the last few years until he realize the last year had been better.

He gave a deep sigh. "Give me a match."

“Sir, I don’t care if you have a coupon, we don’t have eye of newt and no I will not check in the back!”

Werewolf accidentally ends up in a zoo and needs their vampire friend to bust them out.

"Poor thing is hurt! Why must people think black cats are bad luck? It's ridiculous!"

"I think in this case it has to do more with it's bat wings, glowing eyes and demonic chanting."